[LAURA]
I slept with someone
Who handled Kurt Cobain's intervention
He taught me all these tantric moves
And he's really good at Frenchin'
He's vibrant and creative
And makes salads that have flowers
He slathers me in oils
And massages me for hours
And hours, and hours
He's caring and supportive
And gives me his full attention
I slept with someone
Who handled a dead rock star's intervention
Finally, a grown-up who always pays his bills
He's got insurance, self-assurance, marketable skills
He's not like all the others
Only one thing on the brain
But if I had my druthers
I'd have slept with Kurt Cobain
I slept with someone
Who handled Kurt Cobain's intervention
A fact which all too often
He's all too glad to mention
And what is there to brag about?
I wouldn't go and shout it
'Cause it really didn't go so well
When you think about it
But I won't think about it
Or why my jaw keeps clenchin'
Or the fact that when he's mounting me
I feel this mounting tension
I slept with someone
Who handled Kurt Cobain's intervention