This weekend I went to the doctor
And they checked my weight like they do everytime
Took off my sweat shirt
Stepped on the scale
Looked away and closed my eyes
I guess the nurse didn't see me
Cause she said it out loud
And I felt like I couldn't breathe
I was still the same size as I was just before she said it
But my body felt heavier to me
It's just a number
But old habits die so hard
But i blame Tumblr and the year 2013
And my mother for as far back as I can remember
Talking shit about her body
But it's just a number
This weeked I went out shopping
Retail therepy, been a long week
Went through the sweatshirts
And through the dresses
And I grabbed a couple jeans
But the 6 didn't fit me, wouldn't go over my knees
The 8 was still a bit too tight
I tried to ignore that a year ago those would have fit
And I went out and grabbed a bigger size
Its just a number
But old habits die so hard and i blame tumblr
And the year 2013
And my mother for as far back as I can remember
Oh how am I supposed to love you
When you make it so hard
In every mirror all I see are the stretchmarks and scars
And will I always feel like I'm too much but not enough?
I wish I could believe that its really just a number
But old habits die so hard
And I blame Tumblr
And the year 2013