[Verse 1]
Look over there, all in the shrubs
There lives a man who feeds on grubs
Trampled flowers, splintered trees
The only the thing he really needs
[Chorus]
Is mulch
[Verse 2]
He chews up mulch with his teeth
To make his breath so fresh and sweet
He sleeps on mulch for a bed
To stop the voices in his head
[Verse 3]
The mulch, it runs through his veins
It comforts him in cold and rain
The mulch and him fit like a glove
He has but one thing that he loves
[Chorus]
It's mulch
Yeah, mulch
[Interlude]
This one goes out to our good friend, Mulch Man
The only mulch-based song protagonist in the business
We need to send positive energy to him in these trying times
Everybody, sing it with me!
[Bridge]
Mulch, mulch, mulch, mulch
Mulch, mulch, mulch, mulch
Mulch, mulch, mulch, mulch
Mulch, mulch, mulch, mulch mulch!
[Verse 4]
Look over there, behind the shed
There lives a man hurt in the head
Empty needles, broken glass
The only thing he really has
[Chorus]
Is mulch
His mulch
Mulch
Yeah, mulch