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Eminem - Ariel Skit Lyrics

*Ends off "Brain Damage (Snippet)" and "Role Model" instrumental plays through*
**Dial tone**

[Dialogue: Eminem and (Ariel)]
(Hello?)
Hi, this is Ariel?
(This is)
This is Marshall
(Listen, I'm in a serious-)
Don't hang up!
God... Are you gonna leave me too?
Ariel... Hi (What's up with you?)
I'm sorry, I'm s- (What’s your nationality?)
I'm sorry, uh-I'm a-I'm a white male
Single now, sorry, what should I do, Ariel?
Are you gonna leave me too?
Everybody's left me (If I'm gonna leave you?)
Yes (Tell me, what's up with you?)
I'm sorry, I-I, you know?
She comes in, from work late
(Your girlfriend?)
She comes in at late last night, okay?
I don't know where she's at
All I know is that she's got these little, like
Red marks on her neck
I'm like "Are those hickeys?"
"No, these aren't hickeys" I'm like
"You've been fooling around, I can't have it you"
She's done this to me before
I wish you could just, help me, like
I don't know, I'm-I'm kinda horny
(Huh? I'm listening) I've got candles lit
(What?) Candles, I've got candles, and got
The music playing, like a-- Can you hear it?
The music? (What do you think? [?])
The mu-the music... oh, sorry (Just tell me why)
I don't know, I'm just horny
I need it-I don't know
I don't know if I need to just, like, jack off
Or like have sex with my girlfriend when she comes
I don't know anymore, you know? I'm just
(Relax) What? (You Know what? I think you're going crazy, 'kay?)
(Just take a bomb, okay, and go to sleep)
(And stop calling people and crying) A bomb?
(Uhuh) You want me to swallow a bomb, Ariel?
You want me to kill myself, right here, on national TV?!
(National TV? What's wrong with you? *stuttering and laughing* whats wrong with your mind? You're going through it )
I-I'm what? I don't understand, is that Spanish or something?
I don't understand, what are you-
You know, I'm just an English regular guy, I'm a white kid, okay?
I grow up, you know
I don't know, oh my god... You know what?
If you're not gonna jack me off, you fucking slut
You can suck my dick, you fucking whore