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Sqy - A Dodgy Yarn Lyrics

One day I found myself climbing a stairway with no end.
At the top a man stood waiting, he had a frog in his hand.
The frog said his name was Darwin, but he meant the man's.
I was just surprised that I could understand.

Now the man was talking. He had a bony face.
He said I am one of the inventors of the human race.
I have two more contestants who claim the same as well.
One lives up in heaven, the other lives in hell.

You're lucky that you met me before you did those two.
The one he means no evil but he expects a lot from you.
The other is a bastard he is wicked and he is mean.
If you ever meet him it's the last thing you have seen.

Stay with me in nowhere land.
The land where all is clear. No vague tales and promises.
Things are just like they appear.
The Devil promised me once all to my excite.
God he told me not to, hell's promises despite.
Then the evil witch arrived from the mystical fog.
She told me wanker, you're no good and changed me to a frog.