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Amanda Palmer - Lonesome Organist Rapes Page Turner Lyrics

[Verse 1]
He told me that I knew just what to laugh at
And I wanted to but I just couldn't ask if he would take it back
So I could know for certain
So on the bench, I watched his left hand crossing
While doubling entendres with the voicings
He said "Oh darling, you're charming, please don't find it alarming
If I pull this stop out to free up a hand for heavy petting
Now there, there, I'm a friendly man
I joke about sex because it's funny when you're frightened"

[Verse 2]
So silently I sat and turned the pages
Recalculating our respective ages
Over my shoulder, he muttered, "If I get any older
You can hack my wrists off with your choice of objects
No, I'm kidding
Don't be scared, I'm a friendly man
I joke about death because it's funny when you're frightened"

[Chorus 1]
This is as far as I could get
He jabbed a needle in my neck
Erasing all the evidence
But there were matchsticks in my pants
And if a rock should hit my head
And I remember what he did
You'll be the very first to know
Maybe I'll find out why this damn thing won't stop bleeding
[Verse 3]
He told me that I showed a great potential
That given I turned heads and pages fame would be a piece of cake
But practice was essential
So like a stupid child, I believed it
And golly, who would ever had agreed if
I had been Schubert or Mozart
Devoted to the fine art of perfecting absolutely everything inconsequential
Don't be sad, I'll come back again
I joke about trash 'cause it takes class to be enlightened

[Chorus 2]
So several decades have gone by
I am still sitting by his side
I turn the pages faithfully
He turns his head and smiles at me
And with a wink he says, "I doubt
We would be anywhere without
Your gift for keeping truth and consequence from meeting"