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Family Guy - Fanfare And Intro Lyrics

Tom: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, I'm Tom Tucker.
Diane: And I'm Diane Simmons.
Tom: From beautiful downtown Sin City, it's Family Guy Live in Las Vegas!

Tom: Well Diane, it is one hell of a night for a show.
Diane: It sure is Tom, I'm very excited.
Tom: You know, whenever I'm in Las Vegas, I think of that movie, "Showgirls".
Diane: Really?
Tom: Yeah. And you know what else? Sometimes, when I'm sitting alone at home, or in the shower, or wherever I think about "Showgirls".
Diane: Uh huh.
Tom: And sometimes, when I'm driving in my car, I think about Elizabeth Berkley and Gina Gershon and having girl on girl sex and doing all kinds of nasty things like spitting on each other and getting high; the point being, Diane, that Vegas is the kind of place that stays with you wherever you are. And that's just about the highest praise I can give for any town on the map.
Diane: Uh, that's, uh, that's-that's not on the teleprompter.
Tom: No, just some of my own thoughts and musings.
Diane: Well, thank you so much for sharing. And now, ladies and gentlemen, with the accompaniment of Mister Walter Murphy and his orchestra, we present the stars of our show, direct from Quahog, Rhode Island, The Griffins!