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All Faps - Penis News 4 Lyrics

[Skit 1: Penis News Anchor]
Hello everybody my name is Penis Newscaster. And boy do we have a show for you, oh the metronome is on. Oh yeah wow do we have a show for you. Who's hype bro? Are you guys hype? It’s been like over a year isn't that crazy? Isn't that freakin’ wild? Alright well anyways. So today on the show, me, Mr. Penis News Anchor, I think that was the name I went with. We got some reports for you. We got a, we a, Mr. Penis Weatherman On The Scene with us today in the studio. We a, we got a, um, uh. I forgot who else I'm working with here in the studio. Shoutout previous Penis Reporter, OG, for loaning this building for the small price of sixty-nine Dumeringdadingdingos. Um, anyways, today we got a good story, TROPHY, please shut up while I'm recording. TROPHY, TROPHY, I'm recor-. I had to tell him. I had to tell him. And um, anyways, I'll give it over to you. Um, Um, Penis Weatherman On The Scene

[Skit 2: Penis Weatherman On The Scene]
Weatherman on the scene here. It's looking like there's a storm a brewin'. Tornadoes. There’s cows in the sky, houses in the sky. Taco Bell in the sky. Oh, my goodness. Well. Oh, these wings are spicy. It’s kind of wet out here. I'm kinda dangerous
(WWIII Reenactment)
I am your local weatherman on the scene and I’m sending it back to the studio. (Back to the studio)

[Skit 3: Australian Segment Man, Joe Biden]
Welcome to the Australian segment, Australian news segment. Um, I couldn't possibly tell you why this sped up Jersey club in the background. Omicron cases are up 1 billion percent. Shout out to Joe Biden forgetting our prime minister's name
I want to thank that fellow down under. Thank you very much, pal. Appreciate it, Mr. Prime Minister
That's it?

[Skit 4: Penis News Anchor]
Ah, how exhilarating was that? Get it? Exhil- throwback. Anyways, now we’re going to bring it over to our sports caster person, our Sports Penis Man, to tell us about the current on goings in the world of penis sports. Take it away, Mr. Penis Sports Man

[Skit 5: Mr. Penis Sports Man, Top Sporter Dakota]
(Baa, baa, baa!)
Hello. Yes, thank you, Penis News Man. It is I, the Penis Sports Man, bringing you all of the news of the sports, of the sports. In our top story tonight, what is it like to get hit in the penis with a baseball ball? Top Sporter Dakota has a statement for us here
It hurts a lot, but I kind of like it. Yeah?
Thank you, Dakota. Over to the latest news in the world of Quidditch. I'm sorry, did he just say quidditch? The Monroe's Magpies have won the World cup for the thirty-first- the thirty-fourth time. That's it for today, folks. Back to you Penis News Man

[Skit 6: Penis News Anchor]
Yes. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Okay, everybody, I think it's about time to get this little show on the road, wouldn't you say? I think, ya know we're going on five minutes here. I think it's about time to wrap things up. Who's ready for some penis music? Are you guys ready for some, penis music? Penis music? I think it's about time to get this sh- Yeah. I think- This has, this has been your local penis fifty-eight penis reporter signing off. Until next time, penis land. It's. It's penis music time