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Andres Mind - Slave To The Thoughts Lyrics

(Intro)
Life is a reflection we get what we see
Never so deceptive but we hate to believe
We are psychopathic minds of a patient released
Crying ourselves to sleep
Downing the liquor till we can't see
I make all this music but no one believes (x3)
But what's it matter I'm as mad as the hatter
Why do I feel my feelings don't matter
I feel like my life is completely tattered
I feel like my lifе is completely shatterеd
I feel like me wanting to die shouldn't matter (x3)
I'm mad as the hatter

(Verse 1)
Why did god make me this way
Why did god make me afraid
Why doesn't god tell me to stay
Why can't I sprout wings and just fly away
I hate to be me
My feelings don't change
It seems like I forgot how to forget again
Took a trip to the doctors and was fed the wrong medicine
I can't explain my feelings
So I put it in song
I've been feeling depressed
For months it's gone on
This is my life
I feel a pain in my chest
How do I make it stop
I feel like I'm failing a test
You don't know what it's like to fight with yourself
Wake up everyday
And your not liking yourself
Everyday I wake up
All I see is a ghost
I feel like I gave up on hope
(Verse 2)
Can i win
I fight this alone
I feel like I won't mentally grow
Thanks for listening it means a lot
But for a life to be taken
You just need one shot
I truly hate my life
And that's really what's saddening
If I pulled the trigger
I wouldn't be missed
I guess add another one to the suicide list
I was scared of being lost
But I didn't want to be found
I sit in my room without even a sound
Just the thoughts in my head give me profound exhaustion
Please keep your distance please take caution
What's the point of trying if your not doing your best
No sense of direction so I only move forward
Can't look back or it's a heart attack
I'm scared of the truth, I'm the struggling youth

(Verse 3)
I only act happy so the truth won't trap me
My smiles are fake I will never break
I only act tough
Cause I've had enough
Why can't I feel, I only feel numb
Close off my emotions, you won't ever see none
Fuck my anxiety I just wanna feel proud
Fuck my depression I just wanna smile
I sit in my room and I scramble the lock
Time slowly passing observing the clock
My mind is armed all I hear is a tick
Will I blow up or blow out my brains
I feel sick
These thoughts they are here to stay
I can't deal with them it's the same everyday
I don't know If I got what it takes
Know for a fact that I won't be here to stay
(Outro)
I want to be different
Don't wanna be me
My life is shitty but you wouldn't believe
Slave to the thoughts that cross my mind
Slave to the verse as I write in real time
Will my soul ever be saved
Will I ever not be the same
Will I grow to be sane
Will I ever forgo this pain
I don't know how much more I can take
Till the day when I finally break
My limit reaching a critical
Can't tell my family that I'm miserable
Can't tell my friends that I wanna go
Can't open up I'm always closed
I can't tell if I'm making mistakes
My brain tells me these thoughts are perfectly safe
My brain tells me I should try them one day
My brain tells me I should cut on this day
My brain won't let me feel me again
I don't know if I wanna feel again
Inside my head is like a war
I sit here and I'm begging no more
My mind is fighting my body
Satan took control and now no part of me is godly
They don't understand
So I'm misunderstood
If only people knew my intentions were good
Now I only sit in the dark
Knife in my hand as i sit in this spot
Knife in my hand as i start to chart
Then this knife falls to the floor as I finish the job