She fell asleep with her head in my lap. I watched the windows go black
One by one in apartments across the courtyard til every floor dark
I snuck out the back, “Farewell.”
Hid in the stairwell until security passed. I covered my tracks
I kept the door locked. Novels stacked on twin mattress
Lights passing from traffic; my mac attached to the microphone
Broken headphone jack static. Frozen dinners
Pinners hidden in pillow zippers, liquor behind my jackets
Every night felt like Halloween
So cold that I could see my breath. I counted every step
I stopped in the middle of the road where God could see
The wind swept me back in time. The bushes shook like something’s watching me
Our hearts crept out of our chest like Romeo and Juliet
And met by the fence as soon as she would fall asleep
I work the night shift. I grew up on I Don’t Like Shit [I Don’t Go Outside]
I boarded up the windows and cut the wires to the lightswitch
Silence is a luxury. Sleep deprivation
Reality in a vice grip. My eyes shut reluctantly
Your face change suddenly; my dreams fuck with me
Surveillance camera by the fine arts building entrance
White fluorescence, asbestos, clay sculptures, and gesture sketches
Precious memories, I’m just here collect the remnants
A lot of nights spent waiting to see that broken clock turn
Empty expression in bathroom mirror reflection
“Odd Metrist” carved in the stalls
Billie Holiday and cold coffee. I sense a presence
Déjà vu. The music’s coming from inside the walls
Recital hall’s door cracked open partially
Blind kid sat at the piano––his notes rang softly
Chopin nocturnes
I stood in the doorway all night and his dog never took its eyes off me
Dreams where I can fly. Life passing me
She was stargazing; I was trying to find the darkest corner of the sky
Way up where no one can hear you cry
Just get so fucking high
[Vocals by Siege]
Just something to take the edge of off the stress
No regrets, just nostalgia I guess
My grandmother’s house an hour west
I follow the sun as it sets
Trying to catch it
The memory feel realer than the present so I kept it
Dissociative episodes hectic: I didn’t know what it was; I just learned to accept it
I didn’t move a muscle. I missed my exit
I ran madly
I threw stones and watched for the splash when they land. I built castles in the sand
I held my grandmother’s hand. I was happy. I swam
I floated in the ocean like Gatsby
Drove back at the moon’s crest
The sun and I were neck and neck
I walk across the rooftops deft––my clothes still wet
Toast and eggs, breakfast in bed, she asked how I slept