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Apollo Brown - Understanding Lyrics

Understanding Lyrics[Verse 1]
I got the call that I was waiting on
Hadn't been rhyming long
But I had a couple songs
I had been flailing
Maybe more like just a failure to commit fully
Scared of what it could be
I was shook, couldn't look the other way though
Ain't wanna look back and say I should've, could've would've
But I couldn't get out the way
Thought about the friendships, platonic
Intimate, all been suffering since I started this music shit
Everybody love you till you can't do what they want you to
Thought about them fellas who turn out to be possessive
More than that, they was jealous
Trying to stop me from excelling
The fam had always asks, "What you doing?"
Then they act like they do not understand
What it means when I say that I MC
I ain't hosting parties
Damn homie work with me
I've been writing poetry since I was fourteen
That shit was the only thing to ever keep my hungry
I never used to rhyme though, I thought I sounded corny
Till I started chilling with the homies and they showed me
Jumping in the cipher, I was whack at first
Took some work then I started rhyming everywhere
Folks hate it, I ain't care
My home girl Alana taught me how to keep my mind sharper
When other folks wouldn't be bothered
I decided I could be a dope MC
Just had to change the scenery
Gon' do me comfortably
Couldn't rest on co-signs this here is me and my rhymes
This is the life I chose, Lord knows the shit is fickle
But long as I got two nickels I'mma move
I'mma prove I can do it for myself
Can't rely on no one else
And I am built for it, solid to the core
Just need you to listen, nothing less and nothing more
Yeah I'm built for it, solid to the core
Just need you to listen, nothing less and nothing more

[Hook] (x2)
And I don't need a dime cause in time it'll all come
All I really want is a bit of your attention
Show you where I'm at, let you know just where I'm coming from
I just really want the understanding

[Verse 2]
And you ain't even got to understand that
I rather you felt it
Like I struck a nerve you done dealt with
Defecate all on a track and you can smell the shit
It's a visual that you can bite your nails for
Gut retching, heart clenching, black fisted march with me
Ride with me, side with me, see the brighter side of things
Turn it 180 degrees, it's your reality
I wanna capture the mental
I provide the stencil
And you can feel the spaces you fit in to
Free enough to imagine and change your understanding
So you'll really honor what I'm asking
Really all I'm giving is a canvas
Big enough for all of our ideas to branch off all strong
All on [?] for more that's what I do it for
Keep the riches for now, I tough it out with a smile
Mama raised a soldier so I keep it pushing on
Somebody gotta feel me, this ain't just a song
This is what I'm on, every hour, every minute
Every line, every sentence
Sit here to solicit the feeling, I only hope you get it
Hope you're open to it
I hope you're down to use it, I pray to God you use it
I pray to God you use it, I hope you're open to it
I hope you down to use it, I pray to God you use it

[Hook]

[Outro]
And you ain't even got to understand that