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Homeboy Sandman - Loner Lyrics

[Verse]
I'm a loner, that doesn't mean the world is on my shoulders
Yes, sometimes I cut and run, my cup still runneth over
I'm just bein' me, not bein' mean, it's just a means
Of pressin' pause on my controller, as I get older
I find that different people want different things from me
And that not everybody laughs at a topic that I think's funny
If you really want a piece of me
Know I'm gonna say my piece, if you're not pleased, then it's peace, honey
I'm not sayin' I don't gеt lonely
If I did, I'd be a big phony
But those of you that know mе
Know what's absolutely crucial in my mind
Is makin' sure I'm bein' useful with the time when it moves slowly
When it's easier to say it than to do
It makes me think, should I have stayed with you?
Deep down, I know the truth, that any move to call you up to call a truce
Would be just tightenin' the noose and simply bitin' off way more than I can chew
And other things for which I am not in the mood
For some folks, gettin' married is the move
For us, the point was moot
I much prefer just endin' the pretendin' and extendin' the not-anything-to-lose
'Cause I was bein' aloof
I think back to before we needed lube
Just bein' honest, I'm not bein' lewd
I know I made a promise
But I really nearly started to get the feelin' that just bein' honest, I was bein' rude
Which won't do
I can't bear it, the nightmare of the dream come true
It hurts so much to think you're probably cryin' because I don't want you anymore
But I had no idea how much I wasn't ready for
And I was already torn between the good me and the bad me
Regardless, you'd have me, gladly
That's the reason why I'm done with us
'Cause I'm a mess and bein' obsessed is not what's best for either one of us
I know that I'm deranged
I know I have a problem, but I promise I will change
I promise to myself, I promise to God
I swear that I'm not lyin', I am tryin' all the time
I am tryin' so hard
I'm mindful as I clear away debris
That I owe you a lot, my heart was rock
My heart was locked, you were the key
I'm wiser than I was
And I apologize that you won't be around to see