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Irelle Yoko - Haunted Lyrics

Haunted
Mood disorder/Impulse control and addiction disorder/Personality disorder/Self-Harm/ Alcohol/Substance Dependence/Bipolar/Anhedonia/Dissociative Amnesia/Pedophilic Disorder/And so much more/haha/haunted/
I hope I'll die, hope I'll never have to wake up again/
Everything in vain, I feel so much pain/
My mind's haunted, I hear voices all over/
I wanna set up myself on fire and burn like supernova/x2/
I don't remember how it started, but suddenly I was alone/
Forever fighting in a battle the shadow long ago has won/
No matter what I start, I will be failing like always/
It is just like any other of my useless days/
My artwork is all over, my beauty is on my thighs/
If you look in my trash, you'll find my letters of goodbye/
My masterpiece is disturbing, but it's a little glory/
This is my escape, let me tell you my story/
I compared myself to every person, I was always the 3rd/
I knew nobody would ever like to enter my world/
I was bullied and picked on, I was teased from head to toe/
Even my best friend of 9 years became foe/
I disliked everything, my face, body and even mind/
I realized I was a failure, and it was the time/
I couldn't take it anymore, I decided I was done living this/
So I gathered all my strength and decided to end it/
I hope I'll die, hope I'll never have to wake up again/
Everything in vain, I feel so much pain/
My mind's haunted, I hear voices all over/
I wanna set up myself on fire and burn like supernova/x2/
It's always only myself, proud and never calling for help/
Maybe when I'll fly down under, I'll be welcomed into Hell/
And no, I'm not okay, cuz I don't wanna survive/
Look at me, lost as always, existence ain't life/
Nightmares every night, I don't know what it's like/
To feel alive, I‘m lonely and sad running through life/
I had moments where I felt okay, but the feeling doesn't stay/
I cut myself, so I feel it and start to fade away/
So much has happened and today I regret it/
And all these lines are from my bloody past, believe me/
No matter how my day plays out, I never laugh/
I don't wanna know the future, because I am afraid/
It's so fortunate to have a child/
See a beautiful wife that says 'I love you' and stays always by your side/
I see the evil smiles cuz it knows I've sinned/
I'm losing hope and strength, that I need to live/
I hope I'll die, hope I'll never have to wake up again/
Everything in vain, I feel so much pain/
My mind's haunted, I hear voices all over/
I wanna set up myself on fire and burn like supernova/x2/
No butterflies in my stomach, more like killer bees inside/
I prefer to erase my thoughts, by getting high/
Devil, give me a sign, please, tell me that you believe/
And bring me back, let me feel for the last time the wind/
I'm used to the Darkness, I don't see any light/
I had goals, but too many were left to rot inside/
It makes me sad, and eats me alive from the core/
Once again my dream was broken into pieces, I can't no more/
I inhale that motherfucking glue, hoping to leave tonight/
I was always different, I don't deserve life/
I don't deserve a family, no kids, no house, no wife/
I smoke and drink cuz I found myself never being alive/
I don't value friends, I get bored too fast and they disappear/
I found myself in a girl, but now everything is clear/
Even I would give up on my motherfucking myself/
Once again I overdose, I drown smoke and go to hell/
I even never had sex, but my life is almost over/
I hate being sober, just like that girl when to exhaustion I drove her/
There is no person more pathetic than me/
I'm sure, there is no one in the world more pathetic than me/
I don't wanna stop, anyway, it's already too late/
Deep dead underground without legacy, is my fate/
I remember I used to care, I used to be there/
Now I am gone far away, I wanted to stop everyday/
I'm drinking and smoking away what's left of my rotten body/
I don't feel sorry, guess it was just another sad story/
The feeling in my stomach, the pounding in my head/
The only thoughts in my mind, were wishing I was dead/
Minutes turn into hours, hours turn into days/
Every moment that I lived, was just a smoke filled haze/
Cast spell on someone else, find another prey/
I come to die, not to live, so my life begins today/
I hope I'll die, hope I'll never have to wake up again/
Everything in vain, I feel so much pain/
My mind's haunted, I hear voices all over/
I wanna set up myself on fire and burn like supernova/x2/