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Andrew Resnick - Dinosaurs Lyrics

[TOMMY, spoken]
Maybe they should have kept up with the times

[HARRY, spoken]
Well, Darwin taught us that's how you survive!

[TOMMY, spoken]
You know the opposite of survival?
Extinction

[TOMMY]
Boom!
Crash!
Hear that fearsome sound?
Two archaic dinosaurs
Who somehow stuck around

They're the prehistoric missing link
Slathering their greasy goo
On wrinkled hides and faces

[HARRY]
Wham!
Smash!
Epidermis Rex
Raging in confusion
At the modern world of sex
Once they were behemoths
With an appetite for blood

[TOMMY]
Now their lapping prune juice up
Like puddles in the mud

[HARRY]
Ruthless

[TOMMY]
But as toothless as their roars!

[TOMMY & HARRY]
They're dinosaurs!
(squawking)

[TOMMY, spoken]
Larger than life anyway

[HARRY, spoken]
And they lasted eons!

[TOMMY]
Love 'em
Loathe 'em
They're the stuff of lore
[HARRY]
Life don't throw them Mammoth anymore
Never was

[TOMMY]
Ever was
Any bigger since

[TOMMY & HARRY]
Maybe the Smithsonian
Should mount their friggin' footprints

[TOMMY, spoken]
Look at us

[HARRY, spoken]
Who? Me and you?

[TOMMY]
Beat
Broke
Putting on a paunch
Paragons of salesmanship
Without a line to lodge

[HARRY]
First, you're making millions on your schmooze
Then you're clipping coupons from the news for Metamucil
[TOMMY]
Cry

[HARRY]
Joke

[TOMMY & HARRY]
Who's but you's to blame

[HARRY]
Glad to say I socked away enough to quit the game
Gonna spend my golden years where fossils go to die

[TOMMY, spoken]
Where?

[HARRY]
Sunset Village, Florida

[TOMMY]
Oh sweet Jesus, so am I

[HARRY]
Care to share a pied-à-terre?

[TOMMY]
Up yours!

[TOMMY & HARRY]
To albino, genus: wino
Dinosaurs!
(squawking)