[TOMMY, spoken]
Maybe they should have kept up with the times
[HARRY, spoken]
Well, Darwin taught us that's how you survive!
[TOMMY, spoken]
You know the opposite of survival?
Extinction
[TOMMY]
Boom!
Crash!
Hear that fearsome sound?
Two archaic dinosaurs
Who somehow stuck around
They're the prehistoric missing link
Slathering their greasy goo
On wrinkled hides and faces
[HARRY]
Wham!
Smash!
Epidermis Rex
Raging in confusion
At the modern world of sex
Once they were behemoths
With an appetite for blood
[TOMMY]
Now their lapping prune juice up
Like puddles in the mud
[HARRY]
Ruthless
[TOMMY]
But as toothless as their roars!
[TOMMY & HARRY]
They're dinosaurs!
(squawking)
[TOMMY, spoken]
Larger than life anyway
[HARRY, spoken]
And they lasted eons!
[TOMMY]
Love 'em
Loathe 'em
They're the stuff of lore
[HARRY]
Life don't throw them Mammoth anymore
Never was
[TOMMY]
Ever was
Any bigger since
[TOMMY & HARRY]
Maybe the Smithsonian
Should mount their friggin' footprints
[TOMMY, spoken]
Look at us
[HARRY, spoken]
Who? Me and you?
[TOMMY]
Beat
Broke
Putting on a paunch
Paragons of salesmanship
Without a line to lodge
[HARRY]
First, you're making millions on your schmooze
Then you're clipping coupons from the news for Metamucil
[TOMMY]
Cry
[HARRY]
Joke
[TOMMY & HARRY]
Who's but you's to blame
[HARRY]
Glad to say I socked away enough to quit the game
Gonna spend my golden years where fossils go to die
[TOMMY, spoken]
Where?
[HARRY]
Sunset Village, Florida
[TOMMY]
Oh sweet Jesus, so am I
[HARRY]
Care to share a pied-à-terre?
[TOMMY]
Up yours!
[TOMMY & HARRY]
To albino, genus: wino
Dinosaurs!
(squawking)