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Weird Al Yankovic - Ahmish Paradise Lyrics

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize shes very plain
But thats just perfect for an Ahmish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morinin Im milkin cows
Jebadiah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows, fool
And Ive been milkin and plowin so long that even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
Im a man of the land I'm into disipline
Got a bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight were gunna party like its 1699
We been spendin most our lives livin in an Ahmish paradise
I churn butter once or twice livin in an Ahmish paradise
Its hard work and sacrafice livin in an Ahmish paradise
We sell quilts at discount price livin in an Ahmish paradise
A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
I really dont care in fact I wish him well
Cuz I'll be laughin my head off when hes burnin in Hell
But I never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Ahmish with a 'tude? You know thats unheard of
I never wear buttons but i got a cool hat
And my homies agree I really look good in black, fool
If you ever come to visit youll be bored to tears
We havent even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we aint really quaint so please dont point and stair
We're just technologically impared
Theres no phones no lights no motor cars
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Carruso, its as primitive as can be
We been spendin most our lives livin in an Ahmish paradise
Were just plain and simple guys livin in an Ahmish paradise
Thers no time for sin and vice livin in an Ahmish paradise
We dont fight we all play nice livin in an Ahmish paradise
Hichin up the buggy, churnin lots a butter
Raised a barn on monday, soon I'll raise another
Think your really rightous, think your pure at heart
Well I know Im a million times as humble as thou art
Im the pious guy the little Ahmletts wanna be like
On my kness day and night scorin points for the after life
So dont be vain, and dont be winie
Or else my brother I might have to get midevil on your hiny
We been spendin most our lives livin in an Ahmish paradise
Were all crazy menanites livin in an Ahmish paradise
Theres no cops or traffic lights livin in an Ahmish paradise
But you'd probably think it bites livin in an Ahmish paradise