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Bob Schneider - Satan Stole My Tampons Lyrics

The ambulance sounded in the background
The TV was glued to the bed
There was a strange voice coming from the next room
The voice said, ”I am dreaming. I am dreaming.
I am no longer dreaming. This is reality.”

Satan stole my tampons
Satan stole my tampons

I am bleeding. I am bleeding.
There is nothing that I would be needing
Except something to stop this bleeding but

Satan stole my tampons
Satan stole my tampons

I am satan. I did not steal your tampons. I merely borrowed them so that I could stick them in my satanic red butt. You know that all I want for Christmas are my two left testicles

Satan stole my tampons
Satan stole my tampons

Now I know that satan will deny it
I know that he would rather diet
I know that I will be rather quiet
When it comes time to take my place
At the end of satan’s line

Satan stole my tampons
Satan stole my tampons

I am satan. I did not steal your tampons. I did steal your brain from you while you slept. While you were waking/walking down the street you were sleeping and I stole it from you and now everyone around you is creeping up to get you. Don’t worry because it will all work out in the end. Eternity is not very long my friend

Satan stole my tampons
Satan stole my tampons

I am bleeding I am bleeding I am bleeding