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Bob Schneider - Mr Swingle Lyrics

Mr. Swingle started a mutant farm in Ohio back in June
He said, "I ain't the barnacle of love, but then I never dug the moon.
I ain't as handsome as I'd like but then I'm not really that bad."
He traded the rollerblades for the couch and locked himself in his pad.

And there's no one that alone
There's no one that's more blue
There's no one quite as miserable as me or you

No there's no one that's more desperate
There's no one who's more sad
No there's no one in this world that's ever felt this bad

I'm gonna go riding on the moon
And I won't be coming back anytime soon
I'm gonna go flying through the sky
And I won't be coming back down until the day I die

Mr. Swingle got a golf course sweatshop angle kind of game going
And made his self a million over there in Europe showing
Every fat cat crazy banker bro and sucker side of Texas
To part quickly with their hard earned affording him many colored Lexus

Mr. Swingle stole the sun from out under old mighty Zeus
And didn't hesitate to rock the orpheum crowd their of their juice
In his little heart he felt a painful sighing he'd ignore
But everyday got quite a little worse for wear then one before

Mr. Swingle had it all one day he knew it then and there
There was nothing left to steal or borrow nothing left to share
And he felt like going crazy and he left his hat right on
As that shotgun took him to valhalla on that fine tooth morn