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Saturday Night Live - Deep Thoughts Spirit Lyrics

[ANNOUNCER]
And now, Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

[JACK]
If I was a doctor, operating on a patient, and he died on me, and his spirit was hovering above his own body, looking down on it, I would take out a $100 bill, flash it at the spirit, and then stuff it in the hand of the dead body. This would coax the spirit to return to his body. If that didn't work, I'd put the body's hand on the breast of a nurse. That ought to do it. In any case, I'd take the $100 bill back before he woke up