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Saturday Night Live - Lettuce Lyrics

[Tag (over the black screen): "An SNL Digital Short"]

[Dissolve to the exterior, apartment building. Pan down to stoop, where Andy sits glumly until Will appears from right and sits beside him]

WILL: Hey.

ANDY: Hey.

WILL: I got your message. I'm so sorry.

ANDY: Thanks. I just keep trying to tell myself he's in a better place, you know?

WILL: Hey, you know, it's all right to feel sad. But the pain goes away. [Holds up a head of lettuce and takes a bite]

ANDY: Yeah. I just wish there was a way to make it go away faster. [Also holds up a lettuce and takes a bite]

WILL: I wish it would, too, bro. I wish it would, too. [Bites into his lettuce]

ANDY: Every time the phone rings, I keep thinking it's going to be him, you know? And then I remember. [Bites into his lettuce]

WILL: It's okay. Lеt it out. [Bites into his lettuce ]

ANDY: [His mouth full of lеttuce as he speaks] I must look like such an idiot.

WILL: Why? Because you care about something, and you're not afraid to show it? That's not an idiot. That's a hero.
ANDY: What did I do to deserve you? [Bites into his lettuce]

WILL: [Bites into his lettuce] You treated me like a friend.

ANDY: I don't know what to say. [Bites into his lettuce]

WILL: Sometimes, you don't need to say anything.

[They continue to bite into their heads of lettuce together, as a stranger walks past from the left, also biting into a head of lettuce]

ANNOUNCER: Through good times and bad–lettuce.

[Cut to product graphic, with tag: "Paid for by the United Lettuce Growers Association"]

[Fade]