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Citizen Soldier - Im Not Okay Lyrics

Tonight the monsters in my head are screaming so damn loud
But I built walls so high so they never even make a sound
It's a mask, it's a lie, it's the only home I've ever known
'Cause being who I really am has only left me more alone

I am not okay, and I need you to see it
I have so much to say, and no one to hear it
The reason I keep quiet with so much at stake
I always feel like a burden, let it silence me
You'll never understand why it's so hard to say
I'm not okay

I wish I had a scar, had a bruise on the surfacem any kind of proof
That everything I feel is more than just some sad excuse
My life's invisible abuse, I'm either judged or have to hide
The only symptom you can see is I don't wanna be alive

I am not okay, and I need you to see it
I have so much to say, and no one to hear it
The reason I keep quiet with so much at stake
I always feel like a burden, let it silence me
You'll never understand why it's so hard to say

I'll never have the words, I can't explain this hell
But what if it kills me if I keep it to myself
To myself

I am not okay, and I need you to see it
I have so much to say, and no one to hear it
I'm not okay, I'm not okay
I'm never safe, it's not a phase
If I finally break would you still stay?

Tonight the monsters in my head are screaming so damn loud