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Adam Guettel - Sensitivity Lyrics

Sensitivity Lyrics[QUEEN, spoken]
We must think of a test—that looks fair, and sounds fair, and seems fair, and isn't fair

[Merton and the queen laughs.]

[QUEEN, spoken]
Terrible!

[MERTON, spoken]
Terrible!

[QUEEN, spoken]
Sensitivity. A test for sensitivity. What on earth could that be?

(sung)
Sensitivity
Sensitivity
I'm just loaded with that
In this one word is the epitome
Of the aristocrat

Sensitive soul and sensitive stomach
Sensitive hands and feet
This is the blessing, also the curse
Of being the true elite

Common people don't know what
Exquisite agony is
Suffered by gentle people like me
Just get your hands off me!
Think up a tricky test for that
Wretched, moat-swimming princess

[MERTON]
Madam, may I suggest?
Maybe we ought to—

[QUEEN]
Don't take all night!
I'm not well
I need my rest

Not that I ever sleep on that lumpy mattress!
Oh, God!
My back
Sensitivity, bane of royalty
That bed's a torture rack!

Oh, I hate to sound grumpy
But my nerves are so jumpy
I am sure I could feel any lump
Even if it were under the mattress
And small as a pea!

That's the answer!
Under the mattress!
We'll test her tonight
One tiny pea beneath one thick downy mattress
Oh, God!
You're bright!
Any genuine princess would feel it
If she doesn't she's through!
Get the tiniest pea
And order one mattress
No, make it two

[MERTON]
Why not five?

[QUEEN]
Ten, I think should be plenty
Better still make it twenty!
And to play it safe
In the event
Even that's not enough to insure that she sleeps

We'll—
Give her a strong sedative, won't we?
You can whip up a drink
Something stunning!
Oh, but you're devilish!
I love the way you think!

She's insensitive, so insensitive, she'll fall asleep no doubt
God, but you're clever!
Brilliant!
A genius!
You are divine!
Get out!