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Ana Gasteyer - Craniotomy Lyrics

[DR. BERENSTEIN]
Son of a gun, I see it
Your blood vessel’s pinched and coiled
Gordon, now I have a name for what you have;
And your designation

[DR. BERENSTEIN/NANCY D.]
Arteriovenous Malformation

[GORDON/ENSEMBLE]
Wait, Arterial- I'm sorry?

[NANCY D.]
Arterial Venous Malformation. It's something you were born with
Veins in brains are like balloons
Filled with blood
Sometimes they burst
If worse comes to worst
Which unfortunately yours did

[DR. BERENSTEIN]
Craniotomy
Is indicated
Craniotomy
Is not in the norm
You must rely on me
I’m very highly rated
And craniotomy
Is what I must perform
Right?
[NANCY D.]
Right

[DR. BERENSTEIN]
Right?

[GORDON]
Well-

[NANCY D.]
If he's not exact
He may crush the motor tract
So the bad news is:
You may never run or hike
Or ride a bike
Even worse news is:
You may simply die

[DR. BERENSTEIN]
Of course, the decision to operate is entirely yours

[THE MINISTER]
It’s a high-risk operation
He can’t guarantee success

[DR. BERENSTEIN]
I wish I could
[THE MINISTER]
But you really have no options
So the only answer, more or less
Is absolutely yes

[DR. BERENSTEIN]
I can’t guarantee success

[NANCY D.]
No one can

[MIMI]
But we really have no options

[THE MINISTER]
No options

[ROGER]
So the only answer, more or less
Is absolutely yes

[ENSEMBLE]
Absolutely yes

[DR. BERENSTEIN]
And now I have to go
My kids and I have tickets to see Fun Home
Well?
Good
[ENSEMBLE]
So craniotomy tomorrow