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Ana Gasteyer - Anxiety Lyrics

[Intro: Bowen Yang & Andy Samberg]
Hello?
BowFlex
Andrewhore, what's up, dude?
Hey, are you going to the fiftieth?
No, actually, I don't think I can, I'm not gonna go
What? What are you talking about?
It's gonna be incredible, everyone on Earth is gonna be there
I know, it's just, honestly, it stresses me out too much
What do you mean?
Come on, Andy, you know SNL gives me anxiety
Bowen, listen

[Verse 1: Andy Samberg]
I know you're anxious just looking at the 30 Rock sign
And when you're inside, it gets worse
But there is one thing that you gotta keep in mind
So we're gonna press rewind
Let's go back in time
Young Danny Aykroyd, Bass-O-Matic
He looks so fine and fancy-free
But the reality was quite tragic, he suffered from anxiety

[Interlude: Bowen Yang & Andy Samberg]
[*Shrieking*]
Jesus, what was that?
I don't know what you're talking about
That's the footage exactly as it aired
[Verse 2: Andy Samberg & Bowen Yang]
Skip to the '80s, Eddie Murphy, and Mr. Robinson's Neighborhood
He was the star of the show each Saturday, but he suffered the anxiety
[*Shrieking*]
I hate this
A few years later, Billy Crystal was saying "You look marvelous"
But one thing wasn't marvelous, he had anxiety
[*Shrieking*]

[Chorus: Andy Samberg & Bowen Yang]
'Cause everyone that ever worked at SNL had anxiety
You are not alone, my friend
And we also all have IBS
Wait, what?
Oh, yeah, tell 'em, Sarah

[Verse 3: Sarah Sherman, Chris Parnell & Bowen Yang]
The brain-to-gut connectional
Is a complex and bidirectional
Communication between the central nervous system and your butt
So when you're watching SNL
Just imagine everyone you see right before the show
Went to the bathroom and took a crazy [*bleep*]
Right

[Bridge: Andy Samberg & Bowen Yang]
Oh, if these pipes could talk (If these pipes could talk)
The stories they would tell (If these pipes could talk)
If these pipes could talk (If these pipes could talk)
I think they'd sound a little like this
[*Shrieking*]
You've got to stop doing that
No promises
[Verse 4: Andy Samberg, Ana Gasteyer & Molly Shannon]
Jump to the '90s, Ana and Molly
Making 'em laugh with Schweddy Balls
On the outside, calm and collected
But that's not how they felt at all
Oh, we were freaked out as hell
And we wanted to die
We wished for our own deaths
And we had IBS

[Interlude: Andy Samberg, Bowen Yang, Sarah Sherman & Andrew Dismukes]
But come on, guys, we have perspective
We know these are champagne problems, yes
I mean, it's not like we're working in a coal mine
God, no

[Bridge: Andy Samberg & Bowen Yang]
But here's a secret
It's way worse than working in a coal mine
It's more dangerous than working in a coal mine
We would love to be working in a coal mine
Just look at these coal miners drinking sweet tea
They never had to get notes from Lorne
Sit underneath the bleachers with Lorne
You're proving my point, that sounds good to you?
Yeah, now that I hear it, I might skip it, too
'Cause in the end, you gotta take care of yourself
A mature decision for our mental health
[Verse 5: Bowen Yang, Andy Samberg & Will Forte]
But what if they forget about me?
Don't forget me
If I don't go to the show, will I disappear
Or will I fall to the bottom of the Best Cast Members of All Time list?
Past Will Forte?
What the [*bleep*]?
You know what? I'm in
Same

[Chorus: Andy Samberg & Bowen Yang, Bowen Yang]
'Cause everyone (I get it now)
That ever worked at SNL had anxiety
We populate the waiting rooms
Of half the therapists in New York City

[Outro: Andy Samberg, Bowen Yang, Andy Samberg & Bowen Yang]
Every single person who ever worked at SNL had anxiety (Clap)
Every single person who ever worked at SNL had anxiety (Everybody)
Every single person who ever worked at SNL had anxiety
It's a challenging place, but we love it (Every single person who ever worked at SNL had anxiety)
Stress dreams for the rest of your life (Every single person who ever worked at SNL had anxiety)
We're like moths to the flame (Every single person who ever worked at SNL had anxiety)
But it burns so good