You’d like me better as a dog
A furry friend that you could walk
Or even take out on a jog
You’d like me better as a dog
Well, if I was a pooch, maybe then I wouldn’t always be a-beggin’ for a smooch
Yeah, you’d like me better as a dog
You’d like me better as a cat
A pretty pet that won’t talk back
I wouldn’t call you dumb or fat
You’d like me better as a cat
Well if I was just a kitty
Maybe then I wouldn’t always make you feel so shitty
Yeah, you’d like me better as a cat
You’d like me better as a rabbit
Without a single nasty habit
I’d see your ass but I wouldn’t grab it
You’d like me better as a rabbit
Well if I was just a bunny
Maybe then we wouldn’t always fight about the goddamn money
Yeah, you’d like me better as a rabbit
You’d like me better as a hermit crab
Our time together wouldn’t feel so permanent
I wouldn’t force you to watch Superbad
If I was just a littler hermit crab
Well if I was just a crustacean
Maybe then you could stop taking your fucking anxiety medication
You’d like me better as a hermit crab
You’d like me better as a nothin’
Not even a tasty chocolate muffin
No more pain, no more sufferin’
If I was just fucking nothing
Well if I wasn’t here
You’d get awful lonely, this I fear
So maybe keep me as a dog