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Andrew Whitbeck - Long Island Moms Lyrics

Long Island Moms, well it’s true what they say
They’re all the same in every single way
From their teenage denim jeans that show off their saggy butts
To the blonde highlights in their layered bobs that they got at Supercuts

Listen, Mom, ignore your dad
Bushwick’s really not that bad
Don’t assume I’m selling weed
Though that’s cash I really need

(Fuck)

Long Island Moms are so proud of where they dwell
Their kitchen’s always stocked with white zinfandel
They’ve got Kohl’s coupons on the counter and it’s safe to assume
That they got “Live, Laugh, Love” hanging in every single room

I know Brooklyn’s far away
Don’t ask me to come and stay
I’m not moving home with you
Not until my lease falls through