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Allrounda Productions - Mark Twain Vs Oscar Wilde Lyrics

[Verse 1: Oscar Wilde]
Alas, people will laugh
As I sass this lass with no class!
I can resist everything
Except the chance to kick your ass!
Who knew such a small town
Could produce such a big tool?
When people hear Hannibal
They think of a man who was actually cool!
I'm spitting more than table talk
At this hairy, old, geek
I’ll enslave you like Jim
And send you back to poverty!
I shouldn't have to face you Sammy
This is just silly!
'Cause it’s the world's greatest author
Versus Steamboat Willie!

[Verse 2: Mark Twain]
I read Dorian Gray
It was rather strange and louche
You best go run and hide in your trashcan
Oscar the Grouch!
When I walk down the streets of Missouri
Ladies can't help but smile
Your wife Constance?
She drove me Wilde!
Come come, you dum-dumb
Why don'tcha grow some you bum chum?
No need to sue for gay jokes, you want some?
Come get some!
I'll send you back to prison
'Cause I'm sure they love the way they treat ya'
And then Tom’ll drop a bucket of paint on this creature!
[Verse 3: Oscar Wilde]
I had very high hopes for you
But you’re less than second rate!
'Cause all you seem to care about
Is the importance of being straight!
My rhymes will guarantee you
That your heart never pounds!
I’ll stab you with my pen and bury you
Twelve feet underground!

[Verse 4: Mark Twain]
Nobody even cares about your books
How inane!
You better be in pain
Now that you've felt the wrath of Mark Twain!
You're just a pussy Irish writer
That can't rap for shit
I will not attend your funeral
But I will definingly approve of it!