[Intro]
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES (AHHHHHH)
JACKIE CHAN
VS
THE KARATE KID
BEGIN
[Verse 1: Jackie Chan]
Before facing off the legendary fighter Jackie Chan
Take a few notes on how not to fight from Mr. Danny-San
I can beat you in less than a Rush Hour, try my Drunken Style, dog
If I can take down Don Cheadle, then this won't be very hard
Your stances are so bad, it’s like a Tekken fighter left on idle
You’re such a boring character, they should make a show about your rival
Some Chinese bullies left you sore? My raps are a verbal Hiroshima
So if you’re begging to bе put down, I won’t hesitate to beat ya
[Verse 2: Daniel LaRusso]
Evеr since my beginnings, I’ve been told to fight with peace
But…. YOU’RE ABOUT TO GET A PIECE OF ME!
I may need some assistance, but I just go solo, you know bro?
Come face me alone, yo, in the dojo you homo
Jackie Chan Adventures? I prefer Mike Tyson’s Mysteries
I belong in a hall of fame, what’s even your history?
You’re a Bruce Lee copy-paste right down to the footwork
I nearly fell to my death from a cliff, I would’ve let you drop you jerk
[Verse 3: Jackie Chan]
WATCHA! Got so many asian tricks for this Karate Kunt
I’ll back flip kick the 4th wall to tell you I did my own stunts
A cracker appropriating Chinese culture? What’s up with that?
No matter, I’ve got the moves and grooves to make your head go SPLAT!
Try to land a hit, I’ll reflex a blocker, Daniel-San
You look like a pussy and smell like Cocker Spaniel dog
Come flying down my rap trail, it appears you’ve met a dead end
No wonder you bombed, you sport Imperial Japan on your headband!
[Verse 4: Daniel LaRusso]
No more “Mr. Nice Guy” I can’t let him have his way
But we must defend our honor, so come kill his ass, sensei!
[Verse 5: Mr. Miyagi]
I’m always on the run when Daniel-San gives me a call
You can wax on, wax off my damn balls
With my crane kick there’s no way you could stop me
Drop a gotcha cocky block, see, Mr Miyagi Nagasaki
You’re like one of those flies I’ll chopstick to death
Jackie Chan going hi-yaw spreads that nasty noodle breath
With how much Jackie cries, sounds like he needs his mommy quick
Am I going too hard? I don’t really give a Karate Shit
My movies are beloved, while yours only spur a sigh
I’m gonna leave this snake behind, call it Cobra Bye
[Outro]
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC (Hiya!) RAP (Hiya) BATTLE (Hiya) PARODIES