I have a private list
I tell no one about
of terrible things
that might never happen to me.
A supernova inventory
of star-shaped fears
that explodes and expands
when things get out of hand
Top of the list:
1. Carrening off a cliff
when I am 56
in a 911 Carrera
2. Having no friends
Being forgotten in the end
(Would death be avoided
if I drove a Panamera?)
3. Depending on strangers
Growing older alone
Having kids
Being trapped
in a life I don't own
4. Remaining child-free
and living in peace
but never knowing love
as dazzling or deep
5. Is the strangest one on the list
I'm scared to be happy
I'm scared that I'll miss
being sad
Even though
I so want
to be free
But I've known it so long
I don't want it to leave
and I guess that's the end
of a list I don't need