Million Tiny Knives LyricsI spent seven years feeling
like my skin was inside out
Plagued by panic attacks
the body found ways
to communicate
and detonate
the truth
Deeply unhappy and deeply
in love I couldn't see the killer
but I could smell the blood.
“something is very sick in my life”
Couldn't put a finger on it
long enough to make a case
No amount of evidence
was enough to persuade
Him of disconnection.
Him of self-denial
Him of severed instincts
Unwittingly on trial
Karmic threads that extend
my comprehension of their
lineage stitched themselves
tighter, trapping me inside
a dress that wasn’t mine to wear.
I turned a blind eye at first
thought they’d stop once they knew
we were in love
They didn't.
They wanted incest.
Wanted family.
Wanted blood.
Skin a clammy pallor
two Victorian doll eyes
belying no emotion and
every emotion all the time
One glance my way felt like
a million tiny knives, I could
never quite explain why it
sent shivers down my spine
“At first they felt like scratches
I didn't want to make a fuss
until one morning I woke up
and I was covered in my blood”
My dreams began to die
by a million tiny cuts
crisscrossing softly over time
noughts 'n crossing through the
night until the day that I decided:
Enough.
Cut to today in LA life,
I saw their first victim last night
We hallelujah'd and high 5'd
“Congrats, you made it out alive”
and the strangest thing I learned
is that the dangers in my life
were so much worse than all my fears
worse than someone who could connive
Abusive, sick, violent, illegal. Somebody wild, wounded and sad.
And though it won't mean much to others, it disturbed the peace I had
because I'd felt it all along and I had seen it from the start:
A serial killer mind hiding inside a darker art.