[OLIVER, spoken]
Some people want diamonds
Expensive dinners
And spontaneous trips to Paris
Others want danger
Scoundrels and sinners
Or sex in the back of a Toyota Yaris
[OLIVER]
But I’ve learned all of that’s not for me, oh no
I am content with a romance I know
I just want a man who won’t tell any of his family or friends that I exist
I just want a boy who’ll take me in his arms and tell me
‘Don’t tell anyone we kissed’
I just want a man who’ll hold my hand
As we walk round the park
But only where no one can see, or after dark
A man who insists I don’t exist
[MEN]
Shhh!!!!
[OLIVER]
To anyone but him
If we’re on the town and he sees somеbody he knows
He’ll always make mе cross the street
[MEN]
Like you’re non-existent
[OLIVER]
If we’re on a date, he’ll introduce me as his colleague
To the people that we meet
[MEN]
‘This is my assistant’
[OLIVER]
If we’re all alone when we’re at his, he’ll act all sweet for me
But when the doorbell rings, it’s the ensuite for me
He’ll make me feel like I don’t exist
[MEN]
Shhh!!!!
[OLIVER]
To anyone but him
[MEN]
To anyone but him
[OLIVER]
And though, there’s nothing like a fella
Who saves you on his cell as ‘unknown caller’
And oh, there’s nothing like a guy
On whom you can rely to not say a word when he’s overheard
All of his friends call you ‘fag’
I just want a man to hold me through the night
Then every morning text me
[MEN]
Shhh!!!!
Don’t tell a soul or else I’ll kill ya
[OLIVER]
I just want a guy who says I’m lying when I try to remind him
That we fucked, on our gap year in Brasilia
I just a man with whom I can go all the way
And when he’s done, he’ll say
[OLIVER, spoken]
‘Get the fuck off, I’m not gay’
[NANCY]
And why do you think that’s what you’re pining for?
[OLIVER]
Because it’s all I’ve ever known from boys before
[NANCY]
So now you’re worried that’ll happen every time?
[OLIVER]
Well, shit, that must be why I’m
Looking for a mister
Who pretends I don’t exist to
Anyone but him!
[MEN]
Shhh!!!!