[ENSEMBLE MEMBER]
Good food, good coffee
Great conversation
I’m into
Good food, good coffee
Great conversation
I'm into-
[ENSEMBLE MEMBER]
South London, born and bred
South London
South London, born and bred
South London
[ENSEMBLE MEMBER]
Five nine!
[ENSEMBLE MEMBER]
Five ten!
[ENSEMBLE MEMBER]
Six four!
If it's important
[ENSEMBLE MEMBER]
I like pineapple on pizza!
[ENSEMBLE]
Welcome to the meet market!
[ENSEMBLE MEMBER]
Is anyone buying
A quality guy in
The market today?
[ENSEMBLE]
(Meet Market)
[ENSEMBLE MEMBER]
I’m tasty and tender
A verified vendor so
Come and say ‘Hey’!
[ENSEMBLE]
(Meet Market)
[ENSEMBLE MEMBER]
So you’re shopping local?
Well, I’m a rare bloke
I live one mile away
[ENSEMBLE]
(Meet Market)
[ENSEMBLE]
I’m good enough to eat so
I know I can meet somebody at the
Meet Market
[NANCY]
Now then
Tell me what you think of my display?
[OLIVER]
Well, okay
[NANCY]
A picture of me working out
To show me at my best
[OLIVER]
Incred
[NANCY]
A picture of me laughing
So they don’t know I’m depressed
[OLIVER]
I’m dead
[NANCY]
Then three of me confirming that I’m hot
And then a meme from ‘Gilmore Girls’
[OLIVER]
Okay, you’re perfect
I can’t cope, I’m going to scream
[NANCY]
You go!
[OLIVER]
So here I’ve got the hunky
Sexy, stubbly dude
Then four more, just the same
[NANCY]
Woah!
[OLIVER]
Yeah, that last one’s a nude
[NANCY]
Okay, they’re great
But they’re not really you
Why not add some pics in dresses?
[OLIVER]
What?
[NANCY]
Just one or two!
[OLIVER]
Show them an authentic me?
You’ve clearly not frequented the
[ALL]
Meet Market!
I’m looking to find a
Sausage to grind a
A banger that’s not too bent!
[ENSEMBLE]
(Meet Market)
[ENSEMBLE MEMBER]
No fats, and no femme boys
No theys, and no them boys
I just want a normal gent
[ENSEMBLE]
(Meet Market)
[ENSEMBLE MEMBER]
Is that nail varnish?
Soz, not into garnish
'Cause I'm one hundred percent
Masc 4 masc
And I don't like to eat meat
Without any meat when
I'm shopping at the
[ENSEMBLE]
(Meet Market)
[NANCY]
Yikes!
Well, why don’t we have a look and see how we’re selling?
Any likes?
[OLIVER]
Yeah, one boy liked me!
How about you?
[NANCY]
Oh, it sucks
Everyone’s a pig
[OLIVER]
Let’s see
Oh my gosh!
Hundreds of people have liked you
Come on!
Take this little piggy to market with ya
[NANCY]
Alright then
Fine
[OLIVER]
What about him?
[NANCY]
No!
[OLIVER]
Him?
[NANCY]
No!
[OLIVER]
Why not him?
[NANCY]
Ew!
[OLIVER]
Oh, come on Nancy
Just match with a few
Of these guys
They’re so hot
[NANCY]
Hmm
Trust me they’re not
[OLIVER]
Go on!
[NANCY]
Fine
“Hey!”
[OLIVER]
They’re replying!
Yay!
[ENSEMBLE MEMBER]
“Send pics of your melons.”
[NANCY]
That’s right
It’s pure hell inside the
[ALL]
Meet Market!
[ENSEMBLE MEMBER]
“Great bod, great face
Wanna come to my place?”
[NANCY]
“No.”
[ENSEMBLE MEMBER]
"Good, ‘cause you’re a slut"
[ALL]
Meet Market!
[ENSEMBLE MEMBER]
“Have you tried reading Nietzsche?
Maybe I could teach ya?”
[NANCY]
I have a philosophy degree
[ALL]
Meet Market!
[ENSEMBLE MEMBER]
I’m the kind of guy
I’m sure your dad would adore
[NANCY]
Well, he’s not around anymore
[ENSEMBLE MEMBER]
Daddy issues?
[ENSEMBLE]
SCORE!
Meet Market!
Where the dread is existential
But the shopping is essential
Though it's rotten
And it's good so we got to do our groceries at the
Meet Market!
[OLIVER]
Let’s see who you’re chatting to
[NANCY]
This guy!
[OLIVER]
Show me
Oh, God!
He’s-
[NANCY]
What?
I think he’s pretty funny
[OLIVER]
God I hate to say it
But he’s not
[NANCY]
Okay, alright, but he’s pretty hot
[OLIVER]
He’s not as hot as you
[NANCY]
That’s true
But what have I got to lose?
[OLIVER]
He’s such a snooze!
[NANCY]
Okay, but what about you?
[OLIVER]
My boring app is sick as well
[NANCY]
Oh no, that sucks
I’m sorry
[OLIVER]
Yeah, he’s all like
“Ooh, where did you grow up?”
And I’m like
“Ooh, spare me”
[NANCY]
Wait, he’s only making conversation?
[OLIVER]
One that’s really boring!
[NANCY]
Oliver, give him a chance!
[OLIVER]
Uh, no, why should I be snoring?
When I’d rather dance!
[NANCY]
He’s into you
And he seems great
Why not just
Ask him on a date?
I know you’re scared
But if you ask it
You might not leave
With an empty basket
[OLIVER]
Yeah, I’ll go for someone
Who, deep down, I know
I’m not into them
Moan about it when it’s done
Does that remind you of someone?
[ENSEMBLE]
(Meet Market)
We've gotta make a sale
We gotta spark a fire
Before we all "for sale"
Before we all expire
Here at the Meet Market!
(Meet Market)!