[OLIVER]
You've been wondering what's wrong with you, and hey, guess what?
I think we know by now the answer is a lot
You overthink, you overdrink
You panic every time you might have found a future husband for yourself
And even though all of the aforementioned things are true
And even though you are a git, and yeah, you know it too
I don't think that these are fundamental reasons as to why right now you find yourself upon the shelf
And so I start to roll my eyes
When you demand we analyse what's to blame
As if it's not a game, as if we're both the same
When you and I both know
There's no question that you're gonna find someone to love
That you're gonna get the sunset you dreamed of
There's no question that you're gonna find someone to hold
You're gonna move to the Cotswolds and grow old
And you’ll laugh at your old jingle of “Why am I so single?”
But there'll be no question left for you to answer
Nope, there's no question
[NANCY, Spoken]
Thank you
Where's the Cotswolds?
[OLIVER, Spoken]
Nobody knows
[NANCY, Spoken]
But the thing is
I genuinely don't see this as some big difference between us
Like I really believe all that all happened for you
Like it's gonna happen sometime
[OLIVER, Spoken]
Sally, I think you're needed at the Kit Kat Club
[NANCY]
Look, I'll admit that recently it's been a rough old patch
You've been burned a bit and now you're scared to find a match
But your perfect man is out there waiting
[OLIVER]
Waiting for the moment he can organise and cancel our first date
[NANCY]
You know you make these little jokes
[OLIVER]
Moi?
Exhibit A?
I actually think it's what is standing in your way
I know all this deflection is so you don't risk rejection
[OLIVER]
Sorry, doc, remind me of your hourly rate
[NANCY]
But when you get over this fear
All this avoiding, then it's clear you will see
That your future will be like what you see for me
[OLIVER]
Nancy, look, there's a bee
There's no bee
[NANCY]
And there's no question
You're gonna find the love of your life
[OLIVER]
I can't wait to meet him and his wife
[NANCY]
No, there's no question
You're gonna have someone who's all yours
[OLIVER]
Yes, someone who has whiskers and paws
And I'll teach my cat a jingle
He'll sing, "Meow, meow, meow, so single"
Until the day he eats my rotting carcass
And dies from indigestion