Can’t decide what’s fake and what’s fact
So you’re up late screaming, “Bring on the black!”
Smoked so many cigarettes alone on a bathroom sink
I think my lungs are full to the brim with ink
And I can’t get it past my throat to my fingers
to the paper
to the stingers
of the hive in my head
Last week I had a dream you were dead
I was on the phone calling
Begging for your body back
Screaming, “Bring on the black!”
I’m opening a faucet and I’m scared to let it run
It’s been easier the past few months
when I would hold my tongue
’Cause when I write it all down I have to face it
But when I hold it inside I can pretend it’s okay
I haven’t called my grandmother in a year
’Cause she’s the only one I know
Who tells me shit I don’t wanna hear
But I need to hear
I’ve been in the gym these mornings
It takes me 7 minutes to run a mile
And 7 seconds to run from my problems
I’m working on my lung capacity
Fun capacity
Uptight bitch
Take a breath and relax,
it isn’t so bad.
Keep drinking keep dancing
Keep hopeless romancing
They say that keys open doors
But you handed all your keys
To your friends and they dip ’em in a powder sack
Screaming, “Bring on the black!”
And every single second is like late-night TV
A Skinemax freebie
Watch the night sweats
drip down his back
Yelling, “Bring on the black!”
My father said,
“You’ll never belong to a man till I’m dead”
So we just belong to a bag instead.
Winners don’t lose, right?
Except sleep.
Counting sheep.
Relentless beep.
Of the hotel TV.
Too high to react.
So I’m up late begging,
“Lord, bring on the black.”