I choose not to take leave from my dreams
It seems both my sleep and thoughts have been shallow
Lethargy and the aching pain from my scars
I can’t escape from either, no matter if I’m awake or asleep
What I discovered while spiralling downwards
Was a single spoonful of ‘sweetness’
But, no matter what I do, it refuses to melt within me
Yet I try with all my might to make sure the jar’s been scraped clean…… still
Lost in a spiral of fabrications
As I sway aimlessly from left and right
My dreams turn into words
‘Please, smile!’ she says
All my doubts are whisked away
As I’m shaken again and again
The ‘girl’ who brought me back
Bеgins to dissolve into the ‘sweetness’
Thе recipe has somehow taken shape, it seems?
Labelled as ‘elegant’ and ‘flawless,’
The arrow of this compass has seemingly gone mad
Have you ever tried the taste of wishful thinking?
……It really is despairing;
All these ideals that can’t be reached
What I discovered as I drowned
Was a single spoonful of ‘bitterness’
Melting within me so naturally, like it was nothing at all
It overflowed from me in the form of ‘tears’
Ah, lost in a spiral of fabrications
‘I really should hurry home’
As I hide my wounds, not letting them be exposed
I’m nothing like a goddess
There’s nothing beautiful about me
The girl who started to fill the gaps within me
Said that even ‘bitterness’ could be seen as ‘depth’
And as she laughed, she quickly rewrote the recipe
What I discovered while spiraling downwards
Was a single spoonful of ‘sweetness’
But, no matter what I do, it refuses to melt within me
I’ve tried so desperately to gather it all
Lost in a spiral of fabrications
Doing all I can to escape from it
My dreams become reality
‘Let’s go together!’ she says
Even if the guilt that I feel never disappears
Overpowering the joy
The ‘girl’ who brought me back
The ‘sweetness,’ and even the ‘bitterness’
The recipe of all these three mixed together is something I’ve named
‘Happiness’
‘……Thank you, and good morning’